“Oh, I’m sorry.” Dick said. “I know how it is…. ‘And Woman saw that it was so desirable,’” Dick stressed the ‘so’, stretching the word out for five extra syllables. “Little miss be like BOB and have knowledge. Little miss cover up her body. Little miss hide from BOB!”

Candi ground her teeth and glared at Dick, “I hate you so much…”

Dick was on a roll, though. “Little miss ‘Hey BOB, why not pass this off as hereditary sin and let us go?’, little miss ‘I’m so sorry, O BOB, I don’t want immortality, how about we just leave the garden and call it even?’.” Dick pushed his plate away and stood up.

“All right, you bitch,” Candi rose as well, “How was I supposed to know?” She waved her arms in the air and stumbled around the room, “We’re naïve and innocent,” she jumped up onto the chair, “Then old BOB says, ‘So, you simple-minded folk, I’m going to put a constantly flowering tree right in the middle of your home. But don’t touch it, okay?’” Candi made a series of monkey noises, rolling her eyes and rubbing her head.

“Don’t you be disrespecting BOB in front of the boys.” Dick shouted.

“Yeah, yeah…” Candie sat back down, “I’ll respect the bastard from now on. Next he’ll probably let the Germans have a charismatic ruler during an economic downturn.”

“He would never allow such a thing!” Dick shouted.

“Right. I’ll owe you a coke if he doesn’t.” Candi stuffed some mashed potatoes in her mouth.

After dinner, Stick and Unable were free to play in the fields. They usually liked to lure the high school girls from the Land of Brood over to their camp. The Brood girls were all die-hard pagans, which meant they were sexually liberal. Ever since the whole Sacred Tree incident, BOB had laid down strict orders that sex was taboo. The Great Deity had been working overtime to create a sexual stigma, focusing his efforts on the female elements of the family (Candi, Aunt Jackie and Cousin Smithie the Pestilent). It had taken years, but BOB had managed to create a sense of “chastity” in the minds of his female creations. On April Fools, 3992 BC, BOB had decided to make his male creations promiscuous yet hateful of women who weren’t virgins. There was a brief explanation on the records that read: “Hah!”.

Stick and Unable dodged all of this by hanging with the witches. On this night, the Night of murder, et cetera, the two brothers had set up a 3980’s Dance Party. They played the old hit “Walk Like a Sumerian” along with “When Doves Where the Only Food for my People” by the Sumerian King Formerly Known as Hig. The witches were digging it, dancing the night away and tearing off as much of their clothes as they desired.

There was a redheaded young witch all over Unable. When Stick saw this, he grew angry and jealous. Unable, who always appeared to be gay when you first met him, suckered the women into his bed again and again.

At about 10pm, on this momentous night of destruction, Stick went unto Unable and challenged his brother to a duel for the redheaded witch.

Unable, enjoying the party, laughed and grabbed his brothers’ hands, “My dear Stick, me thinks you are a little overmedicated.”

The witches giggled and then started dancing together. No doubt the younger brother would sleep with three women, again, tonight. Stick clenched his fists, for he knew that if Unable slept with three women BOB would be pleased. There was only one solution… It came to Stick as he watched his younger brother dancing with the heathens. He would make the ultimate sacrifice to BOB: The beauty and the power of Unable.