“I get that one all the time,” Candi replied.

“No!” the serpent hissed, “The Evil Bishop. You've heard of me.”

Candi thought a moment, searching her pretty little red head for information. “Sorry, O Serpent, I don't know you from Adam.”

“Adam?” the serpent asked.

“Not so loud,” Candi muttered out of the side of her mouth, glancing nervously back at the camp she and Dick had set up.

“Oh, the bloke down the street.” the serpent grinned.

Candi nodded. “Everything has to be a competition between these men. Bigger gardens, better tools, more sacred Sacred Trees. It's a joke. What's a tempestuous and strikingly beautiful redheaded model of a woman like myself to do but fuck everybody in the neighbourhood?”

“And does that make you feel good?” the serpent asked.

Candi gasped, “There it is again! No, it doesn’t. Nothing makes me feel good. Isn’t that weird?”

The serpent thought for a moment. “Well, no. Not really. But maybe you’d be happier if you were a bit more, well, chaste.”

“Oh sure,” Candi rolled her eyes, “Whatever.”

The Evil Bishop cocked his triangular head, “You come off as a vain bitch. You don't think that’s a terrible thing?”

Candi shrugged, “’Sticks and stones’ little snake. At least I have a spine.”

The Evil Bishop flicked its tongue out once then spoke again. “Well, regardless of your personality, I'm still here to see you. You see, I'm the servant of False Rob, the Eternal Freshman.”

“Freshman?” Candi asked.

“Yes,” the Evil Bishop replied, “once a great angel, he was cast out of Bob Heavens - where there is not egalitarian sausage - and doomed to live his immortal existence as a High School Freshman.”

“Sounds awful.”

“It is. Anyway, in the process, False Rob decided to become the AntiBOB.”

“So he's evil?”

The serpent cocked its head, “Now that's a matter of opinion, I should think.”

“So you're not actually this False Rob, then?” Candi asked timidly.

“No. I've… said that already.”

“So are you another fallen angel?”

The Evil Bishop laughed, “Oh no, no. Not me. I'm just a school administrator.”

“What is it, then, that you want, O puppet-demon of the worthless High School Freshman?”

“To tempt you into oblivion.”

Candi cleared her throat. “Pardon?”