“I’m sorry,” BOB said, “did I say that out loud? What I’m saying is… that you have free will, so that’s why – “

“Free will to get cancer? Alzheimer’s? Hit by a bus?” the first bystander interrupted.

“And another thing,” the second bystander said, “what is with that jacket? I mean, the fake shiny leather? What, is that like a statement or something?”

“Shut up!” the first bystander shouted. He turned back to BOB, “Look, man, so you let all these horrible things happen and you think we’ll forgive you because you say it’s because of ‘free will’? What the hell is that? Does a 4 year old child choose freely to be caught in the cross-fire of a gang shoot out?”

The second bystander cleared his throat, “Actually, that’s circumstance. Not free will.”

“Then what’s the point of life?” the first bystander asked BOB. Others in the crowd were muttering angrily, glancing at BOB and reaching furtively for weapons.

BOB shrugged and thought for a few moments. “Uh… The point of life? Isn’t it like seize the day or something? I don’t know, I didn’t really have a point when I created you. But I am your master! You must bow down to me.”

BOB’s beautiful companion intervened, speaking with a woman’s voice of reason, “They believe that even if you did create the universe, you have still abandoned us. Furthermore, as confirmed by your own statements today, they believe that you don’t really care about them and that you don’t know what you’re doing.”

BOB squinted up at the sun, perhaps checking the time. Then he turned his attention back to his female companion. “You'll have to run that by me again.”

“Um,” she thought for a moment, “They believe that you created the world without knowing it and have since acted irresponsibly, and slightly cruel.”

“That's a very interesting belief -” BOB replied at length

“Ah...yes - “ By now, the first speaker was growing edgy.

“But it's a stupid belief!” BOB shouted viciously. Then he rose up in a cloud of extremely pretty women and addressed all within earshot. “Do any among you claim loyalty to me?”

His beautiful companion leapt up onto the cloud and laid out flat at his feet.

“Oh baby,” BOB said, “I know your deal.” Then he looked down upon the people of Hot Monkey Love, “Well, do any among you love me as your BOB and master?”

Someone threw a nun at him. Well, that’s what the original text said. Probably has a different meaning in the ancient language of the Boble. Anyway, BOB decided that this town was not very nice. Of course, they were simply reacting as frightened children would and meant not what they did. But that's New Testicle thinking...

Then the people of the town began to shout obscenities at BOB. It was clear that things were about to get worse.

“Okay,” BOB replied, the cloud rising out of the reach of projectiles. “I can destroy the world you know.”

There was silence for a moment, then the people began mocking BOB once again.

“No, really, I can!” BOB was growing petulant. He hated it when this side was brought out, it was so terribly embarrassing. Thus it was that a rather agitated BOB returned to Bob Heavens (where there is provoked sausage). He sat up there for days asking moral questions about what he should do in retaliation. All of Bob Heavens (where there is no Jimmy Dean) stayed away from BOB during that period.

And for the lovely Brunette, she was respectful of the host of angels at BH. She kept to herself mostly, awaiting BOB to pass out of his black mood and pleasure her constantly. She’d like that. She was thinking a lot about it. She was, in short, aching for BOB. But BOB locked himself away and sunk deeper into depression and anger.