Now Showing at an Adult Site Near You. . .

"Yo, Johnny," the midget said.

"Was' dat?" the adult answered.

"Was' it like to be tall, like an adult?"

The adult scratched his head and looked away. The adult felt uneasy - he didn't like it when the midget pointed out his adult status.

Man, oh, man, thought the midget. I done pissed off the adult, one more time. He's probably mad at me for sure. But hell, how was I to know he'd get all pissed. Damn adults - they got no sense what it's like to be a small.

"Midget, midget, midget," the adult said finally. "I got somethin' for you to help you start dating. Some gypsy gave it to me. And a geanie gave it to the gypsy. So this is some good shit. Here." He handed the midget a book. "It's called How to Pick Up Women, 2000, and it was produced by 3 A.M. Publishing."

The midget scowled suddenly, throwing the book to the ground. Why did the adult have to go and do this? What was the adult thinking? Always picking on the midget. The last time was bad... But this... This is too much.

"Man, up yours!" said the midget. "Why do gotta go and do that? Adult, you tryin' to say that I can't get a date, that I can't go dating? Brother, I got more hoes than you can count. I've been pimping and hustling women since I was this big!" He made a motion with his hand close to the ground.

The adult laughed, his tone changing. "What? So now you're a pimp? Big pimping? More like small pimping?... If you're a pimp, then where da' hoes at?" The adult turned his back suddenly, walking off in the opposite direction. Adult thoughts going through his head, he remembered the past suddenly, his last love, his last adventure before turning 18 and becoming an adult...

It was his senior year in high school... His parents went away for a week's vacation, leaving him internet access to adult porn sites the entire week. For the young adult, this turned out to be the greatest week of his entire life. Adult sites this - adult sites that. So many women, so many men, so many positions. Wow!

Who knew that being an adult with internet access to online personals could be so exciting?

But then the midget came along and ruined everything. He showed up at the adult's house, knocked, but no one answered. Thinking that something was amiss, he walked around to the back of the house and looked in the adult's bedroom window. Guess what midget found - the adult, buck naked, a jar of vaseling and a half-rack of Corona laying next to him, the full size computer screen playing high speed access to a popular adult site.

The next day at school Midget had something to say to all the singles during show and tell. Standing in front of the class, a nervous grin on his face, he said, "My fellow classmates... A sad day has befallen us... I acidentally happened across Adult in a high state of ecstasy. He was watching an adult porn site while buck naked and holding a beer in one hand and his. . . his. . . shlong in the other. Adult was beatin' off!" Midget couldn't handle it. He fell to the floor suddenly, laughing hysterically. The class fell into hysterics as well. That's when adult finally arrived for class. Seeing midget up front of the class and everyone laughing and instantly Adult knew that everyone knew about his visit to the internet and his vaseline induced gratification. Adult went home embarrassed and swearing that he'd get revenge on Midget.